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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835906">heartbeat clocks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonghoonxx/pseuds/yonghoonxx'>yonghoonxx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band), Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angry Kissing, Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Bigotry &amp; Prejudice, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Fist Fights, Grishaverse, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Morally Ambiguous Character, Multi, Rivalry, Trans Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:21:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27835906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonghoonxx/pseuds/yonghoonxx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You have done everything you can to make me hate you," Seonghwa says quietly, and he looks more human than Yunho has ever seen. "You want nothing more than for me to despise you as you despise me, but I cannot hate you, Yunho. And I am sorry for that." </p><p> </p><p>Yunho hates only three things. </p><p>He hates the cold. He hates losing those he loves, and he hates the Grisha demons. His life is dedicated to ending them; he endures the cold that bites at his skin, all to rid the world of them. He has never seen them as human, and he will never let those haunting, large and beautiful dark eyes plead him to change his mind. </p><p>He sees Park Seonghwa in his nightmares, and in his nightmares he loves him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Jongho/Song Mingi, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa/Everyone, Park Seonghwa/Song Mingi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho hates walking against the wind. </p><p>His face is burning with cold. He can barely see, his jaw feels frozen shut, and the only thing keeping him from giving up and collapsing on the spot is Ignis growling at his side. </p><p>He can barely hear Mingi's rough voice over the wind. "We're nearing the road." He has to press his lips to Yunho's ear to be heard. "Johann said they'll be traveling in a group of four. I doubt they're well protected, this should be a cinch." </p><p>Yunho nods stiffly, too cold to unclench his jaw and answer. Djel, he hates long missions like this. The crunching of the snow under his boots and the wind howling around him is driving him insane. </p><p>Ignis tenses next to him. He runs his hand over her head gently, feeling her fur stand on end. Someone is nearby. </p><p>"That would be them, i suppose," Mingi says grimly. </p><p>"Them". The four Grisha traveling from Cryana, the country Yunho and Mingi's families are rooted in. The four demons that Yunho and his work partner and their loyal wolves are set to bring in for trial. </p><p>Yunho knows the result of the trial already. For the Grisha demons, it's always the same. </p><p>He grips a knife in his hand and creeps forward, eyes on the road. He can make out four vague shapes struggling against the wind, and almost smirks. The demons are having even more trouble than him. </p><p>"Halt!" Mingi roars. </p><p>The four figures go still. Yunho squirms a little as he approaches them, trying his best to stay away. </p><p>He knows their power will be of no use here. The powers of a Tidemaker, a Fabrikator, an Inferni, or a Tailor would be worthless here; a Squallor or a Healer could only perform the most basic acts under the right circumstances, and as for the last and most dreaded form of Grisha demon, none has been seen for a century. Yunho isn't worried. All the same, he tries not to get too close. </p><p>He and Mingi stride forward with more vigor than either showed anywhere on the journey. Ignis continues to growl. </p><p>"You're under arrest," Yunho says smartly, and he grips one arm in each hand, pulling the two Grisha nearest to him up to his side. Mingi reaches out to do the same, but freezes suddenly, his whole arm going limp. He sways dangerously on the spot. </p><p>"Mingi!" Yunho shouts stupidly, but his companion collapses in the snow, his body limp as a rag doll. Yunho's throat hurts from the cold and his shout, but he swallows the pain and pushes forward. </p><p>"What the fuck did you do to him?" he roars at all four of the Grisha in general, his body tensing in fury. They remain ominously silent. </p><p>Then the tallest of the four steps forward. Yunho immediately senses a leader; the demon moves with grace and authority, the hood of a red velvet cloak hiding their face from view. </p><p>"You will let my brothers go," a low, gentle voice says. </p><p>Yunho tightens his grip. "No the hell i won't. What did you do to Mingi?"  </p><p>"He is not dead," the Grisha says dismissively, waving a delicate gloved hand. "You will let my brothers go." </p><p>"No." </p><p>"Then he will soon be dead." </p><p>"You won't lay a hand on him." </p><p>The demon laughs. That low voice is disgustingly seductive, intoxicating. "I have no need to touch him, Drüskelle. No need." </p><p>Yunho feels his pulse slowing in his chest. His head spins, and he dimly registers his limp arms freeing the two Grisha he had caught hold of. He sinks to his knees, the cold seeping through his thick clothes, and collapses on the cold ground in a pathetic heap. </p><p>"Sleep," says the Heartrender softly. "I am not like your people. I do not hurt those who are defenseless." </p><p>The last prayer Yunho sends up to Djel before he slips into unconsciousness is barely a whisper. At least, let Ignis give them hell. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yunho wakes to darkness. </p><p>It takes a moment for everything to hit him. He sits up quickly, his head spinning, and looks dizzily around for Mingi. </p><p>He's inside a building, he realizes; it's startlingly warm. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he becomes aware that he's in a very small, dark room, and he's not tied or chained, nor is the figure slumped on the floor next to him. </p><p>Mingi. </p><p>Yunho shakes him awake frantically. His pulse is back to normal, but his insides twist at the thought of a Heartrender so near to them, carrying the power to kill them with a simple flick of the hand. </p><p>"I thought there were no Heartrenders left," Mingi says in a low voice. "None seen for a century. It's what Johann said... I thought-" </p><p>"So did I," says Yunho grimly. </p><p>The door to the room they're in creaks open. The figure of a man is silhouetted in the doorway. </p><p>Even without the cloak, Yunho recognizes the leader of the four Grisha. He's slender and built like a dancer, graceful lines and curves but no lack of muscle. His face is still hidden in shadow. </p><p>Yunho takes in his outfit and murmers a prayer to Djel, scandalized. </p><p>Red is the demon's thing, he supposes. A jacket the color of blood over a black velvet top cut short to expose his waist, and tight red pants that define every line and movement of his lower body. Yunho averts his eyes and swears. </p><p>"Relax," he curses that gentle voice. "I'm not here to hurt you." </p><p>"I will die before I consent to your demonic seduction," Mingi snarls next to him. </p><p>"I am quite unlikely to attempt seducing you," the Grisha says cheerfully, "as you are both quite ugly. It would be a waste of my time." </p><p>"Ugly?" Yunho yelps. </p><p>Mingi gives him a look, and he feels heat flooding his face. Djel. The last thing he should be worried about right now is what a demon thinks of his looks. </p><p>The Grisha tilts his head. "Leading innocent humans to their deaths as a paying job makes you ugly from the inside out." He steps closer. "I hope you know I have no respect whatsoever for either of you." </p><p>He extends a dainty hand and with one red-painted fingernail, he flicks a switch on the dusty grey wall. The light falls over his face, and Yunho's angry retort dies in his throat. </p><p>He has never seen a face like it. Dark, wide eyes and heavy yet perfectly shaped eyebrows, flawless skin tanned by the sun of another country's sky, sharp features that give an impression of being regal, rather than harsh. His gaze lingers on the full, plush lips painted by bloodred lipstick, then travel down over the jawline and high cheekbones, and back up to those beautiful eyes. </p><p>The face is like a work of beautiful, horrible art, framed by soft silver-purple hair. Yunho swears again, with slightly less fervor this time. </p><p>"My name is Seonghwa," the demon states simply. "I am a Heartrender from Cryana." He smiles as though Yunho and Mingi are children. "You are in my house now, and as long as you respect me, I will not hurt you." </p><p>"My wolf-" Yunho breathes. </p><p>"-is fine and quite happy," Seonghwa finishes. "I do not regret to inform you that your animal does not appear to share your views on Grisha. Relax; you are too tense. I will be back with food in a moment." </p><p>He spins gracefully and vanishes through the door. Yunho turns to stare at Mingi. </p><p>"Fuck," Mingi says, which Yunho thinks is a pretty good summary of their situation. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa returns with food as promised. Yunho and Mingi refuse to eat. </p><p>"You are not hungry?" Seonghwa inquires. He raises a beautiful eyebrow. "Or you mistrust that I may have poisoned the food?" </p><p>"Well," Yunho begins sullenly. </p><p>"I do not poison my cooking," Seonghwa scoffs. "Fool. Eat it. You have to eat, or you will starve." </p><p>"I know," Yunho snaps. He takes a hesitant sip from the cup of soup before him. </p><p>It tastes like heaven. Yunho suddenly doesn't give a damn if it's poisoned. He is hungry. </p><p>"So i thought," says Seonghwa, his tone maddeningly smug. "Eat it all. When you are done, we will talk." </p><p>He leaves no room for arguments. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa opens their friendly conversation by announcing, "you tried to kill my brothers." </p><p>Mingi makes a lazy humming sound in his throat, his eyes fixed on Seonghwa's lips. Yunho pinches him as hard as he can.  </p><p>"We did not try to kill anyone," Yunho says harshly. "Our job is to bring Grisha to the trials. If they are innocent-" </p><p>"What are the accusations?" Seonghwa's tone is deadly calm. "What are we on trial for? What are we arrested for? We have committed no crimes. Violence is not in our nature." </p><p>He speaks as though he is detached from this world. Yunho reminds himself that Seonghwa is not human; he is a Grisha, an accursed demon, a plague. </p><p>"Your power is not natural," Mingi begins. </p><p>"We are born with it," Seonghwa interrupts. "It is no less natural that your deep voice or your height. It is in our blood. We have not stolen it, we do not perform witchcraft. It is simply part of us." </p><p>"You-" </p><p>"Our crime is existing," Seonghwa says, and those dark eyes are suddenly flashing. "That is what we await our inevitable arrests and trials for- and deaths, for no Grisha has ever been declared innocent by your court." </p><p>"Death is not guaranteed," Yunho says quietly. </p><p>Even as he speaks the words, he knows it is a lie. </p><p>"Look at me." </p><p>Yunho tells himself that he won't, but his eyes flicker to Seonghwa's face anyway. </p><p>"What do you see?" </p><p>"A demon," Yunho blurts. He doesn't even intend to speak. He bites his lip furiously, turning away. </p><p>"Anger," says Mingi softly. </p><p>There is a moment's silence. </p><p>Yunho looks up again. Seonghwa's beautiful face looks shocked, his gaze fixed directly on Mingi's face. </p><p>"Anger," Seonghwa repeats. "You see... you think-" his Fjerdan fails him momentarily. "You believe I am angry?" </p><p>"You are angry," Mingi says. "You feel hurt, and your hurt makes you angry." </p><p>Seonghwa tilts his head. His skin glows under the lights. "Why do you think I am hurt?" </p><p>Yunho is suddenly very aware that Seonghwa could so easily stop both their hearts. </p><p>"You lost someone," Mingi answers simply. </p><p>When Seonghwa speaks, the fire is gone from his eyes, the ice gone from his voice. "I was five. They took my mother. Your soldiers, breaking down our door, telling us not to fear- she was only gone for a trial, she would be all right." </p><p>Yunho stares at the floor. Something in his chest twists painfully. </p><p>"It was my brother next," Seonghwa continues, his voice trembling ever so slightly. "The same lie. I was eight. It had been three years, but I had not forgotten. I tried to stop them, but I lost control of my power." </p><p>And suddenly he is crying, and Yunho instinctively reaches out to comfort him before jerking back as though burned. What the hell is he doing?  </p><p>"I killed my brother," Seonghwa half sobs. "I killed him, and sometimes I wonder if it was for the better, because I saved him from the death he awaited at your soldiers' hands. It comforts the hurt, but it can never drown the guilt." </p><p>Yunho raises his head. </p><p>"You said you were not a criminal," he says coldly. "You lied. You are a murderer. You killed a man." </p><p>He stares into those big, beautiful, horrified eyes for only a split second before Seonghwa looks away. </p><p>"A man," he repeats. "You say I murdered man, but if your soldiers had done with him as they do with all others, you would have called it a just execution." </p><p>Mingi gasps softly, and Yunho's eyes sting. He has nothing to say. He cannot lie. Seonghwa is right. </p><p>"They came for me last," Seonghwa whispers. "When I was ten. They wished to put a ten year old child on trial, to execute me grandly and then throw a party, probably leave the body to the vultures. I was young, but I knew I would not let them." </p><p>"You killed them," Mingi says fiercely. </p><p>"No," Seonghwa answers softly. "I ran. I heard them coming, I heard their heartbeats. I ran, and I left the only home I had ever known behind. I returned six years later. They had burned it to ash." </p><p>His eyes seem to burn through Yunho and into his soul. "I tell you this so that you see me as I am, from the very beginning. I pray that one day, you make look at me and see a man, rather than a demon. An angry man, perhaps, but a human, with a life that holds enough value to at least be given basic respect."</p><p>He dries his eyes and stands. "I will hold nothing back from you, Drüskelle. I hate you. I hate you and all of your kind with every atom making up my body, and yet I do not wish to see you dead. This is what keeps me from falling to your level. I do not make enemies of the innocent, and I do not wish death on the young." </p><p>The door closes behind him, and silence falls like the blade of an ax, cold, painful, and deadly sharp.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. chapter two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>'</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seonghwa knows how to make an impression. </p><p>Every time he interacts with the demon, Yunho feels the increasing suspicion that he has a slight flair for the dramatic. He likes entrances that catch the attention, exits that leave everyone with bated breath and tense muscles. He likes fitted and sequined red clothes. And he likes to talk. </p><p>They're in the basement of Seonghwa's manor, Yunho has gathered (because of course, the witch has a manor). He assures them that it's very clean and they have no need to worry about mold or anything of the sort. He speaks Fjerdan with a lilting accent, explaining to them that he cooks as his chosen profession, but Yunho is silently convinced that he must also be a dancer. </p><p>Seonghwa does not live alone. His brothers (who Yunho learns are not his blood brothers, but a found family) live with him, and there are four of them; one was not present when Yunho and Mingi attempted their arrest. </p><p>He tells them of San, the Inferni, catlike and brave. He tells of Jongho, the Tailor, muscled and mischievous. He tells of Wooyoung, the Tidemaker, bright and energetic. And he tells them about Yeosang. </p><p>Yeosang is the lone human living among them. Seonghwa talks about him with a gentle tone and shining eyes, and Yunho is beginning to wonder if the man is even real, for every one of Seonghwa's descriptions makes him sound more and more unbelievably perfect. Like some sort of archeangel, born from fire and baptized in pure spring waters, a divine and celestial being destined for greatness, belonging in another universe. </p><p>Yunho tries not to show his interest in Seonghwa's stories. He continues his harsh refusal to view the man as a human being, and Seonghwa continues to tell them of his friends as though he does not even notice their disinterest. </p><p>"-and Yeosang won the game because he is Yeosang, and he does not tend to lose, although San cheated, and he cried for half of an hour because he had cheated and still failed to win. Please sit up, Mingi, when I am talking to you. Yeosang decided that San should have a penalty- not a harsh punishment, merely a laugh- and Jongho suggested-" </p><p>"Why are you telling us this?" Yunho interrupts. </p><p>A moment's silence. </p><p>"Perhaps I am lonely," says Seonghwa lightly. "But perhaps there is no reason. Maybe, I am telling you this merely because I want to." </p><p>Yunho swallows and stares at him. </p><p>Seonghwa's lips part, but what he says next is the last thing on earth that Yunho expected. </p><p>"You know," Seonghwa tilts his head thoughtfully, "You rather look like a puppy." </p><p>Yunho feels his jaw drop in a doubtless unflattering gape. Mingi looks at Seonghwa as though he just grew a second head. </p><p>"What?" Yunho says weakly. </p><p>Seonghwa stands. He's frowning, but he looks slightly lost, as though he himself has no idea why he said what he just did. "I'll be back." </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't return that night. </p><p>When morning comes, when Yunho and Mingi have stretched and talked and joked with each other as though everything is all right, Seonghwa has still not reappeared. Yunho tries the door, tries it again, but it remains unyielding. </p><p>Hours pass before footsteps sound outside their prison. The lock clicks, the knob turns, the hinges creak; and a figure appears in the doorway. </p><p>But it is not Seonghwa who meets Yunho's startled gaze. </p><p>Instead, he's looking into a single fierce purple eye, the other covered by a black patch. Dark, messy hair falls over a face with sharply handsome features, mouth curved upward in a slight smirk. The man is dressed in a flesh-colored shirt decorated with patterns similar to his hand tattoos, which decorate his neck as well, and a silver ring is pierced through his lower lip. </p><p>Yunho knows who he is. Seonghwa has spoken of him nearly every day since Yunho and Mingi were imprisoned. </p><p>"San," he manages to choke out. </p><p>To his shock, the one eyed man beams at him, a look of delight shining on his face. Djel, there are the dimples. He says in a bright voice with a faint chirpy, joyful tone to it, "He knows me!" </p><p>For the first time, Yunho looks around. There's another boy in the room behind San, a scowling boy with black hair tied up in a ponytail, a bandana around his head, and foxy eyes lined with dark liner. </p><p>"Wooyoung?" Yunho says faintly. </p><p>From the witch's descriptions of a vibrant, glowing boy whose eyes shine, he had expected a much happier visage. However, there is no mistaking the face; this is indeed the Tidemaker Wooyoung. </p><p>For it is exactly as Seonghwa said. The right half of Wooyoung's face is ruined; a maze of twisted scars that blur his features together, save his sharp and glinting eyes. It twists something inside Yunho to look at that grim wreck of what must once have been a handsome face, so he shifts his focus to San again. </p><p>The tattooed boy returns to smirking at him. He and Wooyoung exchange looks. </p><p>San glances down at Yunho again as the door creaks open and Seonghwa enters Yunho's line of vision. He's once again dressed in vibrant red, tight-fitted clothes, with a matching shade of color on his eyelids, dusted with glitter. He looks every bit the part of the witch. </p><p>"You two," he breathes immediately. "I told you to stay away." </p><p>He lays a hand on San's shoulder. "Do not glare so much, Sani. It is not polite." </p><p>San looks reluctant, but he obeys. He swaggers across the floor, his lithe body moving as though weightless, hips swaying, and drops into an armchair. </p><p>Yunho opens his mouth to speak of the comment Seonghwa made the previous day, but thinks better of it. </p><p>"I knew they would want to see us eventually," Wooyoung directs at Seonghwa; his voice is high and soft, a little raspy. "It seemed as good a time as any. I suppose soon enough you'll start to be all angelic and say we should give them some freedom." </p><p>Seonghwa hesitates. "Well..." </p><p>"They tried to kill us, Hwa!" San exclaims. "You cannot really be considering risking that again?" </p><p>"It doesn't seem right to lock them up," Seonghwa says quietly. "It's been weighing on my conscience all along." </p><p>Yunho wonders idly if they realize he and his companion can understand Cryan. </p><p>"That's because you're the Virgin Mary, what I'm saying is you're perfect and sweet and lovely and you worry so about the comfort of people who tried to have you executed." </p><p>"That comparison was very inaccurate for several reasons," Seonghwa says airily, "but the point is that I do not wish to inflict cruelty upon anyone; that is the opposite of my intentions. I cannot rest well at night knowing that they are captives in my basement." </p><p>"Your basement is quite nice," San shrugs. </p><p>Wooyoung's raspy voice cuts in again. "You do not always need to play the saint, Seonghwa. I know your nature is caring, but there are limits. The drüskelle are killers-" </p><p>"Sacred soldiers," Mingi says roughly. "We are the holy warriors of Djel. We are not murderers." </p><p>"You holy soldiers tried to execute us, so you can shove that whole idea and your ridiculous idol up your ass." </p><p>Yunho and Mingi lunge for Wooyoung at the same time, making identical motions as though to claw his face further. They meet with an obstacle in the form of the witch, who flings his body in between them like some sort of graceful martyr. </p><p>"If you lay a hand on him," he breathes, his chest heaving dramatically, "you will regret it."</p><p>Yunho wonders if he is not an actor as well. He adds to the list alongside Chef and Dancer. </p><p>"Means he will not kill you," San drawls lazily. "Dead, you won't be able to regret much." </p><p>"There is an afterlife in Djel," Yunho says stubbornly. </p><p>"An afterlife in which we have no place," Seonghwa says gently. "You may worship your God in peace, however, I shall not stop you. It is a beautiful concept, a holy spring of water, a sacred tree. Beauty in the mundane." </p><p>"Djel's power is not like yours," Mingi says slowly. "His power has its roots in nature. Yours, it is-" </p><p>"Unnatural, sure." Yunho is growing to strongly dislike that high, soft voice, which always sounds like it catches in his throat as he speaks. "So we have been told." </p><p>He winks at the Drüskelle. The torn side of his face jerks and spasms to a sickening effect. </p><p>"Wooyoung, Sani," Seonghwa says patiently, "Please return upstairs." </p><p>They wait silently, unmoving, looking at him expectantly.</p><p>Seonghwa's shoulders sink slightly as though relenting. "And send Jongho down to me." </p><p>Both dark-haired boys are gone from the room in seconds, and soon footsteps sound on the stairs once again. </p><p>"I fear Jongho will be a bit of a shock to you," Seonghwa says regretfully. "He is very worldly." </p><p> </p><p>The first thing Yunho sees is the hair. </p><p>He has never seen such vibrant colors on a human scalp. Jongho's hair is cherry red all through, slightly wavy, with bangs falling across his forehead. His face is youthfully handsome, eyes sparkling with mischief. His arms, Yunho eyes warily; the way the muscles ripple under his skin is mildly intimidating. </p><p>"Need me?" The redhead blows a pink bubble out of his mouth. </p><p>He sees the Drüskelle gaping. "Never had bubblegum? Saints, you really are heathens." </p><p>"This... is Jongho," Seonghwa says awkwardly, with a flimsy wave of his hand. </p><p>"Lovely to meet you," Jongho announces around his gum. "Or not. Yunho, Mingi?" He points to them in turn. "Correct?" </p><p>"Er- correct," Mingi stammers. </p><p>Djel. </p><p>Mingi looks like he's just seen paradise. He's staring at Jongho with stars in his eyes, mouth still hanging open.  </p><p>"Close your mouth, honey," Jongho says smoothly, and Mingi turns a lovely shade of pink. "You'll catch flies." </p><p>"Jongho, if you might please entertain them," Seonghwa suggests, biting his lip. He looks like one of the princesses in Fjerdan plays. Yunho tries not to scoff. "I have forgotten to feed them."</p><p>"You talk like they're our guests," Jongho mumbles. </p><p>He drags the armchair into the doorway and sinks into it as Seonghwa flutters away. "Well, well, well!" </p><p>"You are disgusting," Yunho says, then wonders why. </p><p>Jongho pops a large pink bubble. "That is merely code for, 'I am very sexually attracted to your thighs.' Thank you, by the way." </p><p>Yunho cannot help it. He laughs. He raises his hands in a vain attempt to hide his face, but not quickly enough. </p><p>"Oh, but you are cute!" Jongho says in delight. "Now why did Hwa not mention that bit?" </p><p>"What about me?" Mingi says sullenly. </p><p>"Sulky. Nice nose. Handsome, but very gloomy. Scowls too much. Rude. Room for improvement." </p><p>Jongho chews obnoxiously. His round, innocent eyes twinkle. </p><p>"Uh huh," Mingi says dreamily. </p><p>Yunho stops laughing. He slaps Mingi's arm. "He insulted you!" </p><p>"Don't care," Mingi responds, voice slurred. </p><p>Yunho narrows his eyes at Jongho. "Is he alright?" </p><p>"He is just very sexually attracted to my thighs," Jongho answers, and Yunho laughs again, just as Seonghwa walks in. </p><p>The witch makes direct eye contact and trips- actually trips, stumbles, and rights himself just in time to catch the food held in his hands. </p><p>"You are laughing," he says shakily. </p><p>"I am a human," Yunho retorts. "Of course I feel amusement at times." </p><p>"But I have never made you laugh before," Seonghwa says slowly. </p><p>His red lips tremble as though he is about to cry. The rest of his face remains impressively still, devoid of expression. </p><p>"Maybe I just do not like you." </p><p>Seonghwa sets down the tray. "That may be." </p><p>He touches Jongho's shoulder briefly, and they exit, Jongho dragging away his chair. The door closes softly, and the lock clicks. Yunho and Mingi are alone again. </p><p>"But he does have nice thighs," Mingi says, as though horrified by the realization. </p><p>Yunho slaps him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. chapter three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>warnings for this chapter! </p><p>- some slightly disturbing eye shit (starting from when they ask about san's eyepatch) </p><p>-brief mentions of past sexual harassment (while yeosang is explaining)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wooyoung takes to coming downstairs and paying what he refers to as friendly visits. </p><p>Every time he hears footsteps, Mingi sits up excitedly, only to visibly deflate when the cherry red hair is nowhere to be seen. He tends to fall asleep soon after this, leaving Yunho to endure Wooyoung's endless talking all alone. </p><p>Somehow, it was easier when it was Seonghwa. It was hardly difficult to simply get lost in his low voice, studying every feature of his face as he spoke- whether harshly judging or grudgingly admiring it; but now Yunho finds he cannot adjust to Wooyoung in the same way. The high and raspy tone irritates him, and the scarred side of his face is not a pleasant sight. Moreover, his stories often take uncomfortable turns. </p><p>On the fifth visit, Yunho interrupts him. Unable to bear the constant droning sermon issuing from the Tidemaker's lips,  he cuts him off sharply with a question he had wondered about for a long time. </p><p>"How did you find each other?" </p><p>Wooyoung blinks. At Yunho's visible wince, he blinks again, and Yunho glances away to avoid watching the horrific jerking of the twisted half of his face. </p><p>When he turns back, he focuses solely on the other half, which is quite handsome. He repeats the question. "You and the others. How did you find each other?" </p><p>"A long story," Wooyoung says smugly, shifting his hips. Yunho wants to punch the Tidemaker and then himself. "One I quite enjoy telling. Settle in." </p><p>He licks his lips and crosses his leather-clad legs. </p><p>"I came up from Cryan six years ago, at fifteen years old. I was a runaway on my way to Ravka, searching for an education which would include my Grisha abilities. I was popular for my good looks, once," he laughs ruefully. "I made friends all round, but none stayed. </p><p>"I was crossing a field one night when I encountered another human, alone in the middle of nowhere, clutching only a dirty grey sack. A pitiful little figure with long, dirty hair and a grubby white dress. Barefoot, too... Well, I was touched, and I decided to help. I took the kid in my arms, helped them cross the field, found them a place to get shoes and a cloak." </p><p>Yunho interrupts once again. "I suppose this is relevant?" </p><p>"Be patient," Wooyoung snaps. "Where was I? Ah. Well, I cut their hair with a jagged rock at their request, and they decided to befriend me. It so chanced that I was actually the younger of us two, which I had not foreseen." </p><p>He sighs at the memory. Yunho waits, bouncing his leg impatiently. At last, Wooyoung seems to return to the present. </p><p>"My sincerest apologies. And so we traveled a few miles before I dared to ask their intent in traveling alone, and received the reply, 'I am in search of a Tailor.'</p><p>"So we searched together. It took a great deal of time, but luck brought Jongho across our path; he was seeking work in the foreign lands, and agreed to help us in return for a favor. One we still owe him." Wooyoung frowns slightly. </p><p>Yunho is beginning to suspect who the barefoot child in the white dress was. </p><p>"Jongho did an incredible job. I gave them privacy for the more personal areas of the transformation, but the face I watched with keen interest. It did not change, and yet it did; it was the same, the features unaltered, but there was an unmistakable difference there. I had found a mirror, just for the occasion, and when I presented it to San and he saw his reflection, he cried." </p><p>Yunho jolts in surprise. Though he saw it coming, he is startled at Wooyoung's casual addition of a name to his narrative. He had thought it a secret. </p><p>"Did Jongho make him ugly?" Mingi is awake, clearly roused from his slumber by the mention of the red-haired Grisha boy. </p><p>"Of course not," Wooyoung rolls his eyes. "The tears were joyful. It was the first time in his life that San looked into a mirror and truly saw himself as a man. I must admit that I teared up too," Wooyoung adds, with a relish that suggests he is more proud of this small display of human emotion than anything else. "I have never seen anyone so joyful and thankful before. He might've kissed Jongho then and there." </p><p>Mingi scowls. </p><p>"If they weren't distantly related." </p><p>The scowl vanishes. Yunho feels a bizarre urge to burst into laughter. </p><p>"Only distant," Wooyoung says dreamily, "but enough to end San's budding feelings for Jongho permanently. That was when he realized that he had grown to care for me." </p><p>"And you care for him," Yunho says quietly. He says it as neither a statement nor a question, but Wooyoung ignores it completely. </p><p>"We burned the dress, too," Wooyoung adds. His voice trembles a little, and Yunho is left with no doubt that his comment was heard. "Nice gesture. Then we continued our journey towards Ravka as a trio." </p><p>Yunho tries to picture it, but finds his memory of Jongho and San's faces is only hazy. He has a slight idea, though, an image in his mind of three cold and tired travelers, none even adults yet, crossing the wide country all alone. </p><p>"We found Yeosang working against his will in a pleasure house, so we broke him out and ran. He was the first non-Grisha among our group, but he was intelligent and likeable and he knew how to fight, so he fit right in with us. </p><p>"Then at last we arrived in Ravka, and on the border we found a young man fighting a great white wolf, all by his lone self." </p><p>Yunho feels as though his throat is closing. "A Drüskelle wolf?" </p><p>He curses his voice for breaking. </p><p>"Quite so," Wooyoung confirms. "The biggest wolf I have ever seen. And he fought it himself, darting and twisting, avoiding every swipe of the great paws. He was losing energy, though, and seemed hindered by his tight clothes, but before I could catch him, he collapsed." </p><p>"Dead?" Mingi asks softly. </p><p>Yunho knows he was not dead. He could not have died, for then he would not be wandering about this very house, somewhere on the upper floor, going about his day in his flamboyant red dancer's outfit. </p><p>"No, merely fainted of fatigue. He was alive and somehow almost entirely unhurt. The wolf was preparing to kill him, though, and I could not bear to witness it, so I jumped in to fight it, and kill it if I had to." </p><p>There is something about the way Wooyoung tells his story. His face is alive with emotion, the handsome half practically glowing, the destroyed half looking like a terrible mask. His voice seems to issue from everywhere and nowhere at once, and his hands are as much a part of his dialogue as his words are. </p><p>Mingi watches him with rapt attention. Sometimes, Yunho feels that, in another universe, Mingi should have never been a Drüskelle. Yunho has done many things which he shudders to recall in his service as a holy soldier, all to keep Mingi safe; to protect the last hope of innocence left in that cold country.  </p><p>"You would cause damage to a sacred Drüskelle wolf?" </p><p>"It damaged me," Wooyoung answers. </p><p>"But- but our wolves are companions," Yunho says slowly. "They are not weapons. It surely would not hurt you unless you provoked its anger. You should have tried to drive it away, instead..." </p><p>"Yunho," Wooyoung's voice sounds both regretful and amused at once. "Yunho. Even in the short time you have been here, on the occasions on which you have seen me, have you truly never wondered what in the ever living hell happened to my face?" </p><p>His tone is not bitter. It is not angry. It simply is, as though Wooyoung has long since accepted that his face would frighten the strongest of hearts were he to ever step outside and make his way down a sidewalk. </p><p>But Yunho feels as though cold water is being thrown over his whole body. For once, he cannot even think of a single thing to say. All those horrible scars, a face slashed to shreds by some vicious animal, muscles so damaged that they no longer responded correctly to their signals...</p><p>A Drüskelle wolf did this. A giant white wolf....</p><p>"Johann's wolf," Yunho hears himself say. </p><p>Wooyoung freezes. </p><p>"Johann?" He asks calmly, but his body sways like a drunken man, his jaw tense. Something in the air feels so, so wrong. Everything in Yunho's mind is screaming at him to drop the subject. </p><p>He pushes it away. </p><p>"Johann St. Vincent." Yunho looks up, meeting Wooyoung's cold eyes. "My- our leader." </p><p>"Johann St. Vincent." Wooyoung's voice shakes dangerously. "A big, broad man with a loud voice. Twisted mouth, cruel eyes, and a white wolf twice the size of a normal wolf. That one?" </p><p>"That's him," Mingi answers. "But his eyes are-" </p><p>"You work for him?" </p><p>"We did, until your leader kidnapped us," Yunho says bitterly. </p><p>Wooyoung stands, nearly upsetting his chair. He looks livid, as though something in this confusing exchange had enraged him beyond words. "I can't believe it." </p><p>"Where are you going?" Yunho asks quickly. He can't explain the chilly feeling settling over the room, but something is very wrong, something that was not wrong mere moments ago. </p><p>"To tell Seonghwa." Wooyoung's voice is grim. "Seonghwa was, of course, the man we found fighting that beast on the Ravkan border, but there is so much more than that. Johann St. Vincent tried to ruin Seonghwa's life three times over years past, and I will not let him ruin it once again through you two. Seonghwa has suffered more than enough at his hands, I think." </p><p>The door slams violently. The click of the lock seems like the sound of a timer, ticking away the seconds until an explosion.</p><p>Yunho is still in shock, unable to form words. The image of Seonghwa, tall and slender in his red dancer's outfit, fighting off that great giant wolf all alone seems burned into his mind, although he never saw it. He knows that wolf, and he knows that he would never dare to fight it himself. He thinks of Wooyoung's destroyed face, once handsome, and of his own wolf Ignis, somewhere on this very property. Does she miss him? Does she howl for him at night?  </p><p>Yunho lays his head on Mingi's lap and lets his eyelids close, but he cannot sleep. He feels like he may never sleep again. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>It is not until the morning that Yunho goes over Wooyoung's story in his head and finds that he has questions. </p><p>One in particular stands out, a gaping hole in the narrative, which Yunho cannot find a solid excuse for. He mentions it to Mingi, but his companion too can come up with nothing. </p><p>Why, if Jongho was so talented as a Tailor, was he unable to fix Wooyoung's face? </p><p>Perhaps, Mingi suggests, Wooyoung didn't want it fixed. Maybe he thought he looked tough. Maybe he wanted to intimidate. </p><p>Yunho dismisses that theory. He can see no reason why Wooyoung would endure the pain and the loss of muscle control merely for the sake of keeping a face that would frighten children. </p><p>At what Yunho guesses is about noon, San comes down to their room. His face shows no sign of the brilliant smile which shone on it before; he looks set and angry. </p><p>"Get on out," he snaps. </p><p>Yunho's jaw drops. Mingi says weakly, "Out?" </p><p>"We're going to see Seonghwa." San beckons to them, his face unreadable. "Get up." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>They follow him up the flight of stairs. Everything is so very clean that Yunho finds it almost disturbing; even the banister has not a single speck of dust anywhere upon it. Mingi takes Yunho's hand and squeezes it as San unlocks the door at the top of the stairway and pushes it open. </p><p>Then they're standing in a narrow, dimly lit, eerily spotless hallway. The light issues from a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling; the walls are painted charcoal grey, the floor made of cold stone. At the end of the hallway, a few steps away, is a beautifully carved wooden door with a gold knob. </p><p>Yunho knows very little of art, but he can at once tell that several different pieces of this scene are priceless. His mind wanders, as it so often tends to, to Seonghwa; he feels curious as to how he obtained this house. </p><p>San twists the knob and steps through the door, glancing over his shoulder at the Drüskelle. They follow silently, making no attempt to run or overpower him. The wooden door would present a great obstacle were they foolish enough to try; Yunho has not forgotten that San is an Inferni. </p><p>The next room is a wide, shining, grand room not unlike the ballrooms of the old days. With a small and bitter smile, Yunho thinks of the witch with his graceful movements and dramatic flair. He shakes his head slightly. </p><p>"Does Seonghwa dance?" </p><p>He blurts out the question without meaning to. San glances back over his shoulder, still walking briskly forward. </p><p>"Not anymore," he says flatly. "But Wooyoung does." </p><p>His shoulders sink slightly and he adds in a small voice, "So do I." </p><p>Yunho falls silent again. He senses that this is a topic which San does not wish to discuss. </p><p>He squeezes Mingi's hand, trying to collect his thoughts. The room is wide, and they could certainly try to run for it, but where would they go? They do not know the house. Better to memorize the mansion's layout before making rash decisions. </p><p>At last, San pushes through one more door into a room smaller and messier than the others. Wooyoung is seated on the carpet by a large fireplace, his head resting against Seonghwa's leg. Seonghwa is not dressed in his usual attire, but rather in black pants and tall leather boots, and a shirt printed with green and red plaid, which is designed so as to keep his arms covered but shoulders bare. </p><p>Jongho is nowhere to be seen, but a figure with golden hair is buried in a huge book off in the corner armchair. His face is hidden, but Yunho suspects they are soon to be introduced to the mysterious Yeosang. </p><p>"Please sit down," Seonghwa says quietly. </p><p>Yunho starts at the polite request, gripping Mingi's rough hand and sinking onto a chocolate-colored sofa. </p><p>"I owe you an explanation," Seonghwa sounds so terribly tired, "for a lot of things." </p><p>He attempts a humorless smile. </p><p>"You may ask any questions, and I swear that I will answer honestly. I have too much on my conscience already; I will not lie."  </p><p>Silence fills the room. </p><p>Mingi breaks it, going straight to the point. "Why did you lock us up and keep us here?" </p><p>"I brought you to my home so you would not die in the cold after I slowed your hearts and you lost consciousness," Seonghwa answers. "I fully intended to let you go, but Yeosang warned me that you might send the Drüskelle to my home to take us away, and I had no desire to hurt more people. I consented to keep you for a month's time before letting you free. The others did not like this, and protested." </p><p>"Why did you tell us so much, and behave in such a vulnerable manner, on our first proper meeting?" This is something which Yunho has wondered for a long time. </p><p>"I wanted you to see that I am not a monster," is the calm response. "That I hate to cause injury, and I despise violence. I know, Yunho, that behind my back you call me a witch. To my face it is 'demon'. I am not hurt by it, because I am used to it, but I wished you to know that I have a heart too." </p><p>"Is that why-" Yunho's mouth is dry. "Is that why you told us all those stories? So we would see your brothers as human beings?" </p><p>Seonghwa lowers his gaze to the floor and nods slightly. </p><p>"Well, you have failed, then," Mingi says bluntly. "Maybe if you had not kept us prisoner-" </p><p>"How did San lose his eye?" Yunho interrupts.</p><p>Everyone goes still. </p><p>From his place by the door, San gives a tiny sigh. He steps forward into the light and raises his head. </p><p>"I did not," he says softly. </p><p>He reaches up and carefully unties the band holding his eyepatch onto his head. He pulls it away, wordlessly casting it onto the floor. </p><p>His eyelid opens, and Mingi's grip on Yunho's hand tightens almost painfully. San's covered eye is white, entirely white, three thin vertical scars running neatly across it- the claws of a small animal. </p><p>Or....</p><p>"Fingernails," San says simply. "The pointed tip of sharpened human fingernails. My mother did this to me, the one time I dared return to my old home." </p><p>"But why?" Mingi breathes. </p><p>"I cannot tell you," San says quietly. "But she wanted me to be someone I could not be. I told her that had never been me at all, and never could be." </p><p>"So she- clawed your face?" </p><p>San replaces his eyepatch. "She was very angry and disgusted. My father was dead already, and my sister was away.... so I ran again, and I never looked back. I lost the sight in my eye that day, but it cannot possibly compare to the loss of a home and a mother's love." </p><p>This time, the quiet that falls feels final. Seonghwa strokes Wooyoung's hair softly, looking as though his mind is a thousand miles away. San stares at the floor and fidgets his feet. Mingi grips Yunho's hand so tightly that it burns. </p><p>Then the huge book drops with a loud thud, the golden head is raised, and a deep voice says in a soft tone that still carries through the whole room, "Alright, we are too tense. Everyone gather closer. Find a seat. We have many things yet to be explained." </p><p>Yeosang is as beautiful as Seonghwa's descriptions. He moves in a sort of blur, his face seeming to glow, an aura of light seeming to be hanging around him. He claps his hands impatiently, gesturing for everyone to sit closer, as he asked. The rings on his fingers glint and sparkle. </p><p>"First of all," he says in a businesslike voice, "you are likely wondering if you are being released. The answer is no. You are moving to rooms on the upper floor. It may appease you slightly to know that initially, dear Seonghwa wished to free you, but the news of your employer being Johann changed things. Any questions?" </p><p>Wordlessly, Yunho shakes his head. </p><p>"I have." Mingi raises his hand tentatively, like a schoolchild. "You knew that we are Drüskelle. Why does the news of our leader shock you so?" </p><p>"Johann St. Vincent is the devil incarnate. He arrested and killed Seonghwa's mother," Yeosang says flatly. "Years later, he returned and tried to take his brother. These two events form the first time that terrible man tried to ruin dear Seonghwa's life." </p><p>Yunho swallows. "And the next?" </p><p>"He found Seonghwa while traveling and would endeavor to arrest him, but he was- as he put it- charmed. He offered to let him walk free on the condition that for two weeks, Seonghwa would spend every other night with him. When he refused, Johann struck him. Seonghwa slowed his pulse and escaped." </p><p>Yunho feels sick. Johann had always strictly upheld the Drüskelle standard of honor... this could not be true. Yeosang was lying. </p><p>"Liar," Mingi hisses, as though echoing Yunho's thoughts. </p><p>Yeosang ignores him completely, which Yunho cannot say he anticipated. "The third time, they met by chance on the Ravkan border. Johann proposed his offer again, telling dear Seonghwa that the years had only made him more desirable. He spoke to my brother as though he was a particularly appealing piece of sweet candy, rather than a human being." </p><p>Yeosang's jaw tenses. He is undoubtedly angry at the memory. "When Seonghwa refused again, Johann tried to force him. Seonghwa threatened his life, though it was an empty threat as he has sworn not to kill, and Johann set that terrible wolf on him. That was where we found him." </p><p>He crosses his legs. Seonghwa has not once paused in his stroking of Wooyoung's hair, but his cheeks and ears look slightly red. </p><p>Wooyoung is clenching his fists, and San has worn a hole through the carpet with his foot, or possibly by accidentally setting it on fire. Yunho's hand aches, ut he never lets go of Mingi's. His heart is racing, and his head feels as though it may split. </p><p>"We have another question," Mingi's deep voice rings out again. </p><p>"Ask." </p><p>"If Jongho is so great a Tailor that he could alter San's sex, then-" </p><p>Mingi never finishes his sentence. In an instance San has a hand on his throat, a cry of horror escaping his lips; his face is brilliant red, uncovered eye blazing. </p><p>"Where the hell-" he grits his teeth, and Yunho sees that his hands are shaking. "Where the hell did you hear that?"</p><p>Wooyoung flinches just ever so slightly, and Seonghwa's hands still. </p><p>"You said it was alright," Wooyoung whispers. "You said it was not a secret." </p><p>San lets go of Mingi to grab at his own hair, a shiver running through his whole body. "They're Drüskelle, Wooyoung! As if me being Grisha wasn't enough, now they have definite proof right there that I'm some sort of freak-" </p><p>"It doesn't make you a freak." </p><p>All eyes in the room turn to Yunho. He whispers a silent apology to Djel. Maybe he is about to betray his beliefs and his loyalty by showing kindness to a Grisha demon, but he cannot stay silent now. </p><p>"Oh, your Grisha power is still freakish," Yunho says flatly. "But if you think either of us gives two cents that you had Jongho Tailor you, there you are wrong. It is nothing to be ashamed of. But why did you not have your eye fixed, and why did Wooyoung not have Jongho fix his face?" </p><p>San sinks onto the sofa with a shocked look on his face, his dark hair a wild mess, and rather to his embarrassment Yunho catches sight of a tear glittering in his eye. </p><p>Seonghwa laughs softly. "I fear that you may not believe me when I state the answer to your question, Yunho." </p><p>He hates the way the Grisha says his name. It sounds beautiful in a way he never knew his name could sound, and it raises goosebumps on his skin. He hates it. He hates it with a passion. </p><p>"What is the answer?" </p><p>"Merely that Jongho can no longer use his power," Seonghwa answers simply. "Not at all. It was taken from him by your leader, your Johann. Tailors above all other Grisha need their hands to work, and Johann St. Vincent took that from Jongho." </p><p>"Took- his hands?" </p><p>"Cut them off," Seonghwa confirms. "He wears metal hands now, made by a Fabrikator- a convict, in fact, who we chanced to meet soon after the incident. He covers them with gloves, but his power is useless. It is there, yes, but he has no way to utilize it, due to the actions of your brutal employer." </p><p>The last three words are spoken with unbearable bitterness. </p><p>"Did he ever touch you?" </p><p>The words are out before Yunho even knows what he is saying. Seonghwa's dark eyes open very wide. </p><p>"Johann?" He says, almost thoughtfully. "Oh, he quite wished to. I did not let him. I have vowed not to kill, but my brothers made no such vow. If he had dared, he would be as good as dead if I told them." </p><p>"You would order them to kill him?" Mingi sounds disbelieving. </p><p>"He would not have to," Wooyoung's raspy voice cuts in. He raises his head from Seonghwa's knee. "Yeosang would rip that man apart before anyone else could even get within twenty feet of him." </p><p>Yeosang stares into the fire and smiles vaguely, not denying, and Yunho feels a sudden rush of realization of just how much this little family loves each other. </p><p>"And I do not give orders to my brothers," Seonghwa reproaches. "They are not my servants." </p><p>He hums and joins Yeosang in studying the fire. </p><p>"Do you believe it?" Yunho murmers in Mingi's ear. "Do you truly think Johann is this sort of man?" </p><p>"I do not know what to think," his companion answers softly. "I would like to not believe it, but-" </p><p>Another gentle laugh tells Yunho that the witch has overheard them. He feels slightly ashamed, though he cannot think why. </p><p>"If you were to ask him, he would say that I was bewitching him," he says mildly. His tone is sad as he adds, "I have been called sinful to look at." </p><p>"Sinfully delightful," Yeosang murmers. </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>"The Kaelish violinist said that of you. A sinful delight. I cannot understand why men speak of you as though you are a dessert." </p><p>"Odd," Seonghwa agrees. His eyes sparkle as he says casually, "I quite prefer terms like 'witch.' I find it undeniably attractive." </p><p>He has the nerve to wink.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this was a long chapter.... </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. chapter four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rooms are comfortable. </p><p>Yunho can tell that whoever designed the interior of this house was very passionate about it. Everything is perfectly matched, nothing out of place, nothing unnecessary added. The walls are painted warm colors, the bed feels like heaven when Yunho sinks his tired head onto it, the pillows are plump; it's the simplest and yet most luxurious room he has ever entered. He feels at home immediately, inwardly cursing the feeling. </p><p>"You'll sleep here, then," San says awkwardly. "This was Hongjoong's room." </p><p>"Who?" </p><p>San pauses, not meeting Yunho's eyes. "Someone Seonghwa knew. He left." </p><p>Yunho has questions, but he chooses not to ask. Instead he opts to comment, "It is a nice room." </p><p>"Seonghwa designed it himself." </p><p>Yunho starts. "For, er, Hongjoong?" </p><p>"For him," San confirms. "There wasn't a lot Seonghwa wouldn't have done for him, I think." </p><p>He traces the outline of his pants pocket with one finger and adds quietly, "That's what he was doing on the border. He had traveled across the country to Ravka, alone, looking for Hongjoong." </p><p>"But he didn't find him," Yunho finishes. </p><p>"He did." </p><p>Yunho slowly tucks himself under the covers, his mind spinning with a thousand questions about the man who used to sleep in this room. "He did? Then why..." </p><p>"Hongjoong did not want him," San answers dully. </p><p>Yunho turns this information over and over in his brain. He wonders, if someone loved him, if they were willing to risk their life and travel to the ends of the earth for him, would Yunho be able to say no? </p><p>"Why?" </p><p>"I do not know," San says simply. "Never asked." </p><p>Yunho looks around the room again, searching for any sign of the previous inhabitant. He finds nothing. With a little jerk of his head, he asks bluntly, "Why does Seonghwa always wear red?" </p><p>A smile spreads over San's face, sunshine breaking through the dark clouds, color spreading across a blank canvas. "That one is an easy answer." </p><p>"What is the answer?" </p><p>"He knows he looks especially attractive in red," and San closes the door behind him. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Seonghwa pauses in his work to stare down at his hands. </p><p>The rag clutched in his fingers is dripping water on his shiny kitchen floor. Seonghwa bites his tongue and curses, then sends the Saints a silent apology. He puts the rag aside and reaches for a fluffy towel, his mouth tasting of iron. He bit down slightly too hard. </p><p>He feels as though he is walking on eggshells. Allowing the two Drüskelle into his home was bad enough, but giving them comfortable living space and treating them as guests... he can feel his brothers' disapproval, especially Wooyoung. Seonghwa's baby has been harshly ignoring him for some time, tossing blunt two-word answers and refusing to spend more than a few moments with him. </p><p>Seonghwa doesn't know that he can bear it much longer. He so hates to feel alone.</p><p>And putting Yunho in Hongjoong's room.... </p><p>Out of nowhere, a kiss is pressed to the back of his neck. Seonghwa smiles fleetingly. </p><p>"Sani," he greets. </p><p>San drapes his slender limbs over Seonghwa and snuggles in. "You seem sad," he notes. "And stressed. Is everything alright?" </p><p>Seonghwa forces a laugh. "What told you I was sad?" </p><p>"You paused your cleaning- you never do that- just to gaze dismally at your own wrists. Something is troubling you." </p><p>Seonghwa stands still and silent for just a few seconds longer. Then, wordlessly, he jerks his head in the direction of the now occupied west wing bedrooms. </p><p>"The Drüskelle?" San hums. "I understand. It is uncomfortable for me too, having then within our walls, close enough to-" </p><p>"No," Seonghwa shakes his head. "I mean- that is a foreign feeling, but it is not what troubles me as we speak." </p><p>San blinks his pretty eye rapidly, his lashes fluttering. "Then, what?" </p><p>Seonghwa's throat constricts. He stays silent for a few moments once again, sensing San's heartbeat, steady like a ticking clock. So fragile, and yet a human life rests upon that clock never stopping.</p><p>Seonghwa could stop it. He would never even have to move. </p><p>He swallows. "Having them in his room," he says quietly. "It feels wrong." </p><p>"Hongjoong?" </p><p>Seonghwa looks down at the tub of water on the countertop. He reaches for the rag again. </p><p>Hongjoong was everything he and his brothers would never be. He was an enigma, an otherwordly being whom Seonghwa could chase for the rest of his life and never catch in his hands. A shaft of moonlight on the water, a cloud taking on a mysterious shape. Beauty in the untouchable. </p><p>Once, Hongjoong had let Seonghwa hold him, touch him, whisper promises to him. All in silence, all without the slightest sign that he cared. But Seonghwa had a weak heart, and he had convinced himself that every feeling he held in his soul for Hongjoong was returned. </p><p>"When I fought the wolf, he ran," he murmers.</p><p>San slides off of his back and leaps deftly onto the kitchen table, crossing his thin legs. "What?" </p><p>"He was there," Seonghwa says, louder this time. "When Johann and his wolf attacked me. He was there, and he saw me fighting, and he ran."</p><p>"Ran away and left you to die." </p><p>Seonghwa squeezes the wet rag bitterly. "Like a fool and a coward. He ran to save his own life. He knew I could not kill the animal as I could the man." </p><p>"But you didn't kill the man either." San watches him closely, his eye tracing Seonghwa's every movement. "You are too noble." </p><p>"No, merely stupid and weak." </p><p>"You are an angel." </p><p>"I am a witch." </p><p>"Witch in red," San says amusedly. "The men they call nobles, too, run from you. They hide their selfish existences away from a man ten thousand times greater than they could ever dream of being." </p><p>"I am not a great man," Seonghwa laughs gently. "But I understand the hearts of great men, the way they beat like funeral drums. I would have you shoot me through the head before allowing myself to become what they are." </p><p>"Witch," answers San softly, and his tone is unbearably fond. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Yunho awakes to silence.</p><p>His head is resting on a comfortable, plump pillow, his body wrapped in a warm blanket. The feeling is unfamiliar, and the silence is almost eerie. </p><p>It takes him a moment to realize that the unnatural quiet is due to the absence of Mingi's steady breathing; his companion is asleep in another room. Yunho slides off the bed as quietly as he can. The floor is cold. </p><p>Maybe he can find the exit now. He and Mingi could be free as soon as tomorrow night. He clings to the thought, but it no longer comforts him as it once did. </p><p>His door is unlocked. Yunho makes his way down the corridors, with hardly any idea of where he is, or how to get back. There is no sound anywhere in the huge house. </p><p>Yunho is just about to push through one of the big wooden doors when something catches his eye, and he stops, astonished.</p><p>On the wall to his right is a large portrait of two men, one seated cross-legged on a carved wooden chair, one on the floor with his head resting on the other's knee. The face of the man on the floor is unmistakable; Yunho would recognize it anywhere. </p><p>"Mingi," he says softly. </p><p>Seonghwa has a portrait of Mingi up in his home. </p><p>Yunho's heart is pounding. He feels goosebumps all over his skin. There is no way, simply no way anyone could have made so detailed and accurate a picture as this in the short time the Drüskelle have been here. The eyes of painted Mingi stare back at him out of a face younger and softer than Yunho knows it now, yet still clearly recognizable. </p><p>The face of the second man is unfamiliar, and yet familiar. Yunho feels that he knows it, but cannot place it. </p><p>He reaches up a hand to brush some dust off the face- and then he sees it. </p><p>Holding back a gasp, he raises his shaking hand again, covering half of the second man's face. Now he knows it. It is the sort of face you could never forget. </p><p>The foxy eye and smirking mouth stand out as clear as day to him. The man on the wooden chair is Wooyoung. </p><p>Yunho's hand drops to his side again. He pushes open the heavy door in a trance, feeling hollow, moving like a man in a dream. </p><p>"Good morning," the deep voice he dreads so much greets smoothly. </p><p>Yunho nearly jumps out of his skin. Seonghwa is standing near a large white door, pulling on a pair of bulky grey boots. Yunho's heart leaps into his throat. That door leads outside. </p><p>"I thought it was- early," he says, rather stupidly. </p><p>"Six hours after midnight," Seonghwa answers. He is not wearing his usual red outfit, but a white blouse and suit pants. "I always awake the earliest. I am leaving for work." </p><p>"Work?" </p><p>"You did not think I owned so extravagant a house and yet no source of money? I have no inheritance, you know. Your Drüskelle took it." </p><p>Yunho snorts. "Where do you work, a whore-house?" </p><p>Seonghwa's eyes flash dangerously. "No, a hospital." </p><p>"Oh, wonderful. Of course you do." </p><p>"If you ever stagger into my hospital, bleeding and dying, do not expect my help." </p><p>"I would have the sense not to stagger to your hospital, of all places." </p><p>"You might not have a choice." </p><p>"You're assuming I will end up bleeding and dying one day. That is suspicious." </p><p>"If I hurt you, there would be no blood-" </p><p>Seonghwa cuts off and glances at his watch. "I'll be going, then. Keep your eye on him, San," he adds. </p><p>Yunho jumps again. "Where...?" </p><p>He hears a mocking giggle from above him. Jerking his head back almost painfully, he meets the sparkling eye of the man swinging by his knees from the high golden chandelier. </p><p>Yunho regrets ever leaving his bed.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. chapter five</h2></a>
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    <p>Yunho doesn't mention the picture. He feels that maybe he ought to ask, but a voice in the back of his brain is telling him to hold his questions, at least for now. He doesn't know why he trusts it, but every time he opens his mouth to speak about the painting, something warns him to close it again. </p><p>San, he quickly learns, is very energetic. He bounces around the furniture and spins about in the middle of the room, tumbling onto the carpet with his delighted laugh ringing through the room. He does not seem to have much to say, but his energy is at least a little cheering, though Yunho's mind is still a mess. </p><p>At home, he was the energizer. The bright, happy, talkative one. Only on the job was he strong and silent.</p><p>And now here. But it feels different. </p><p>Wooyoung joins them roughly an hour later, announcing that he is going to cook breakfast. Yunho doubts his skills, but the pancakes he makes are the best the Drüskelle has ever tasted. They didn't have pancakes often in Fjerda. Yunho had forgotten how much he liked them. </p><p>Without really thinking on it, he tells Wooyoung gratefully that he enjoyed the pancakes very much. Wooyoung's battle-marked face splits into a wide smile, and Yunho decides that he is rather handsome. The scars only add to the effect, in a way. </p><p>The hours tick on, and Yunho's babysitters lose interest in watching him. San curls up like a cat on Wooyoung's lap, his eye closed, lips curving upward in a lazy, contented half smile. Before too very long, both are asleep. </p><p>Yunho slips away through the house easily, but for once, he isn't searching for an exit. </p><p>Finding the ballroom proves an easier task than he thought. Same as before, it is still empty, Yunho himself being the only sign of life inside. For a long time, he stands near the door, staring across the room. </p><p>Then he takes a deep breath and starts to dance.</p><p>When he first joined the Drüskelle, young and eager, his one great regret was that he was forced to stop dancing. It wasn't fit for a warrior, they said, it wasn't tough enough, manly enough. But Yunho's body remembers the feeling, that sense of being as light as a breeze, soaring like a bird, as free as anyone could ever be. </p><p>He closes his eyes. There is no mirror to check his movements, no reason for them to be open. If Yunho makes a mistake, no one aside from himself will know. </p><p>But he doesn't make a mistake. He dances until he forgets it all, the painting and Seonghwa and his wolf and Johann and the two young men asleep a few rooms away, failing in their instructions to watch him. His cheeks feel cold, eyes stinging, and Yunho realizes that he's crying. </p><p>He stops abruptly, collapsing onto the floor. He keeps his head down and hugs his knees to his chest, letting tears flow, though already he is wondering what exactly made him cry. </p><p>He cries for everything that was taken away from him. He cries for everything that he doesn't understand. He cries from loneliness and from envy. </p><p>Yunho cries for a long time. </p><p>"That was beautiful." </p><p>Yunho's head jerks up. He hastens to dry his smarting eyes. </p><p>"No, you can cry," Yeosang says seriously. "Crying is good for you. But why did you cry, if you permit me asking?" </p><p>"A lot," Yunho gulps, then swallows, clearing his throat. It feels raw. "That is- a lot of reasons." </p><p>Yeosang nods, silent. He closes the door and swiftly crosses the room, footfalls as quiet as a cat's. </p><p>Yunho jolts with surprise when Yeosang sits down beside him, but he doesn't lean away. It feels nice to have company. </p><p>"You don't act like a Drüskelle." </p><p>His eyes widen. Yeosang is looking at him with interest. His face is very close. "What do you mean?" </p><p>"You say you hate them," Yeosang answers thoughtfully. "Grisha. But you accept their kindness, even thank them for it. You remain hours in their company without outwardly trying to make them uncomfortable. You listen when they speak and consider what they've said. You are an unusual Drüskelle." </p><p>"I do hate them," Yunho says feebly, but even he knows how unconvincing he sounds. </p><p>Yeosang looks almost sympathetic as he asks, "Do you hate Seonghwa?" </p><p>Yunho scowls at that. "Yes." He is sure of this, at least; he hates Seonghwa more than all the rest combined. </p><p>Yeosang laughs. He has a lovely laugh; his face is even closer to Yunho's now, his eyes shining. "Allow me to ask why?" </p><p>"He kidnapped me!" Yunho exclaims incredulously. "And not only me, but my companions as well! He never tells me anything clearly, 'When are you letting me go home,' 'Oh, Yunho, want to hear about the time-?' I hate it!" He sucks in air after this aggressive statement, turning to look into Yeosang's eyes. </p><p>Very dark, beautiful eyes. Inches away from his own. </p><p>Yunho swallows again. His throat burns. </p><p>"You will leave soon," Yeosang says quietly. "And you will be free to do as you wish. Seonghwa does not want you to stay around here any more than you do."</p><p>Sonething in this answer feels like a punch in the gut. </p><p>"He wants me gone?" </p><p>He flushes at the tone of hurt in his own voice. </p><p>"He does not like holding prisoners," Yeosang answers. "It was not his own decision, keeping you here all this time. Moreover, he feels that you find his clothing and behavior lewd and inappropriate, and that it disgusts you," amd when Yunho opens his mouth in protest, Yeosang places one finger over his lips, effectively silencing him. </p><p>"I know that this is not true, Yunho, as well as you do, but Seonghwa has been hurt. He does not trust so easily. He is used to being viewed as an object, and he expects it from everyone he meets. And some of your jokes are in very poor taste," Yeosang adds severely, and Yunho recalls his whore-house comment from earlier, feeling guilty. </p><p>"So what am I to do about that?" Yunho challenges. How can he help Seonghwa's misconceptions? (The voice in his head reminds him that the fault is his; he tries to ignore it). </p><p>"Prove him wrong, if you care," Yeosang replies simply. "If you truly hate him, leave it. It can hardly make a difference, can it? You're just another Drüskelle, just another human who only wants to use Seonghwa and then throw him away." </p><p>With that, he presses a quiet, soft kiss to the corner of Yunho's mouth, leaving him with the puzzle in his mind even more complicated than before. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Yeosang's kiss stays on Yunho's mind for hours. </p><p>Even when his thoughts begin to wander down a different path, he jerks them firmly back to the feeling of Yeosang's lips, running from the blond man's words so as to avoid dwelling on them too long. Sooner or later, he is aware, he must face them, but he doesn't want it to be now. </p><p>Yunho spends most of the day with San, hoping to avoid Mingi as well, for the painting deeply unsettled him. There is no escape from Wooyoung, however. He and San are attached at the hip. </p><p>Seonghwa arrives back at the house as the sun is falling lower in the sky. He looks weary. His face is gleaming with sweat and his silver hair is a mess, but he smiles as he hangs his coat up on the hook and kicks off his boots. </p><p>How can he smile so genuinely at Yunho? Guilt is eating away at his insides. </p><p>"May I talk to you?" Seonghwa asks him quietly. "You and Mingi both, please." </p><p>Wordlessly, Yunho nods. There's a ringing in his ears. </p><p>"I want to discuss your leaving," begins Seonghwa, as soon as they're behind the locked door of Mingi's room. "I cannot hold you captive any longer. It weighs on my conscience. I have tried to make you as comfortable as possible, but nothing I do can erase the fact that you are prisoners in my home, and I cannot live with that, so I am letting you go." </p><p>A muscle ticks in Mingi's jaw. Yunho gapes. "Now?" </p><p>"Whenever you wish," Seonghwa smiles faintly at him again. "When you feel ready, you are free to go. I will not bother you any longer. You may return to your home and Drüskelle and your wolves." </p><p>"But-" Mingi's deep voice is hoarse. "What if we sent Drüskelle here to capture you? You are willing to risk that?" </p><p>"Will you?" Seonghwa says quietly. </p><p>The room is silent. Seonghwa regards them for a long moment, an unreadable expression on his face. At last he says, "I know the risk. I have lived it. You are free to go." </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Mingi stays in his room. In ringing silence, Yunho and Seonghwa start down the long hallway again. </p><p>"Wait," Yunho says roughly. </p><p>Seonghwa turns to look at him. Yunho feels dizzy, suddenly unsure whether he can even manage what he wants to say. Seonghwa's eyes are huge and shining. Yunho can't seem to form words at all while looking into them. </p><p>He looks quickly away, studying Seonghwa's neck. His neck is pretty too. This does not help. </p><p>He settles for staring at the wall over Seonghwa's head, gathering his courage. They stand in silence. Without a trace of impatience, Seonghwa questions, "is everything alright?" </p><p>"Fine," Yunho croaks. His throat feels like sandpaper. "Actually, I need to apologize." </p><p>The strands of silver hair visible within his line of vision bob up and down as Seonghwa nods. He says nothing. Somehow, this is encouraging. </p><p>"I haven't been... nice," Yunho says, feeling stupid. Of course he hasn't been nice. He finds he is struggling to get to the point. </p><p>"Yeosang said you think I find you inappropriate," he stammers out in a rush, "you know, your clothes, and how you act, and all. So I apologize for that, uh..." The strands of hair are still; Seonghwa is listening. "I'm sorry. If I made you feel that way. You don't make me uncomfortable. Aside from, uh, being able to stop my heart." </p><p>He finally looks back into Seonghwa's eyes. The Heartrender looks stunned. </p><p>He studies Yunho's face for a long time, as though collecting his thoughts. </p><p>"You have done everything you can to make me hate you," Seonghwa says quietly, and he looks more human than Yunho has ever seen. "And that was, to my surprise, not very much. You are a Drüskelle, you ought to have wanted nothing more than for me to despise you as you despise me, but I could not- cannot hate you, Yunho. And I am sorry for that. </p><p>You have hurt Grisha before..." his voice shakes. "I know it, but you do not hate us. You listen to the truth as we tell it, and you believe us. And you are sorry." He stops for breath. "No Drüskelle has ever sought me out to apologize for anything before." </p><p>"You deserved an apology," Yunho says awkwardly. "I try to be an honest human, at least. I could not bring myself to leave if you still believed I was put off by you." </p><p>Seonghwa's eyes crinkle into a smile. "You are sweeter when you're not tired." </p><p>"Same to you," Yunho shoots back quickly. "If I ever end up bleeding and dying, maybe I will consider your services after all." </p><p>He stares back at the wall. There is one more thing he wants to say. </p><p>"And for what it's worth...." Yunho's brain is suddenly blank. He'll be gone by tomorrow, what does it matter? He can speak freely. "I think you're really pretty," he mumbles, and with that, he escapes down the hallway to the bedroom he will be gone from forever within hours. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Yunho packs a few necessary things into a sack, mumbling curses all the while. </p><p>"You fucking playboy," he mutters. "You idiot. A pretty man kisses you, so you go and play with his friend's feelings. Oh, how genius of you. Very smart! You should have kept your damn mouth shut, you bastard son of a-" </p><p>"Who kissed you?" </p><p>Yunho shrieks. The sack hits the floor. "Djel! San, don't do that!" </p><p>"Sorry," San shrugs. "I came to say my goodbyes. You are not so bad, you know. I might even miss you." </p><p>Oddly, this warms Yunho's heart. He tugs his face into a smile. "Yes. Thank you. I mean, goodbye. I'll, uh, miss you too, you are very..." he gestures vaguely, and San giggles. </p><p>"So who kissed you? Yeosang?" </p><p>"No!" Yunho yelps. "Well, yes. But that's a secret, and if you tell Mingi I will... I will..." </p><p>"Right," San says, his eye shining. "But if Yeosang kissed you and you do not feel for him, then you should probably tell him. Before he starts liking you too much. If you break his heart, Seonghwa will stop yours." </p><p>Yunho manages a vague gurgling noise that sounds a bit like "hnnggg," in the back of his throat. "I will hell tim. That is, tell him. I'll do that right now." </p><p>He shoves past San, his face burning. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Yeosang takes it well. </p><p>"Alright," he says when Yunho manages to stammer out that he's sorry, but he doesn't see Yeosang that way. "I had low expectations, anyway. I only kissed you because I knew you were going away, and I was not going to waste a good chance." He grants Yunho a nod and a soft half smile. "Be safe." </p><p>"Right," Yunho chokes out. "You too." </p><p>He returns to his sack. San is still in the room, standing on his head. </p><p>"If you are going to kiss Seonghwa, you'll have to stay," he says immediately as Yunho enters. "He catches feelings real fast." </p><p>Yunho shoves a pair of socks into the sack. "I have no intentions of kissing Seonghwa." </p><p>"You have thought about it, though."</p><p>He has. The lie that he never thought anything of the sort does not come. "Yes, I have." </p><p>San wiggles his feet. "Just kissing?" </p><p>Yunho rubs his burning neck. "Well, I wanted to hug him too." This is true. He also wanted to hold Seonghwa's hands, but he doesn't tell San this. He also decides against telling him that he considered murdering Seonghwa in his bed. "But mostly just kissing, I suppose."  </p><p>San tumbles out of his headstand, scrambling nimbly to his feet. "That's good," he says seriously. "You should stay. He needs someone who can be content with just hugs and kisses." </p><p>He pats Yunho on the shoulder and leaves, closing the door silently behind him.</p>
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